| 2008: the future is now |
[15 Jan 2008|04:14pm] |
so, a new year, eh? I'm ready for it.
Looking back, 2007 was pretty routine. I went to school, I worked, I had some fun on the side. I did a lot of constructive things (like getting a 4.0 and an internship at the deYoung and some other things and stuff) and moved into a mega-rad badass apartment. I finally got my bike fixed and since I've been riding it to work and elsewhere all the time my quality of life has improved significantly. the sun's been shining for the past few days, though it's still bitter cold. I started school again and all my classes seem tolerable. contemporary art history in particular will be bitchin, in the first class we talked about the future/roles/value of art in a techno-industrial society. and nobody knows what comes next, but we're all excited about the future.
things that will be big in 2008:
- nonsmoking smokers
- trees
- laura welter
- big umbrellas
- things that don't look like what they are
- crushing on inanimate objects (like galleries)
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| thoughts |
[02 Nov 2007|03:35pm] |
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music |
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page france - chariot |
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life is so weird sometimes.
i just had a sort of epiphany about hallucinogens: they are good because they make the random weirdness of life much more plausible in comparison. putting things in perspective is much easier after you've tripped balls. which i am long overdue for doing.
i think i would be a lot happier if i was really stupid. REALLY, REALLY STUPID. it scares me how much i fluctuate between being hella stoked on life and hating it. approximately 17 times a day, lately.
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| seb-TOWN! |
[27 Dec 2006|04:19pm] |
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music |
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beck - new round |
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back in sebastopol and remembering all kinds of things i forgot or never noticed about this place. the sound of frogs at night, sleeping with a dog curled up at my feet, 7-11, how smoker-unfriendly sebastopol is and there is nothing to do after 8, how the back roads are covered with debris after a storm. bickering with my brother in the backseat. it's so windy that the wind in the trees sounds almost like the cars going by on 19th avenue. my back hurts from sleeping on the futon and though being here is exactly what i need, i'll be glad to get back to the city. because that's home now. starting to love the city life.
harley has all his fifteen year old friends over and they are playing video games and they smell SO WEIRD. like moldy cheese.
christmas this year was almost not dysfunctional. way to go whitesides!
and new year's is going to be SWEEEEET!!
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| yes! |
[03 Jul 2006|10:44am] |
interesting events of the past three weeks:
-i was planting sunflowers in the back yard in sf and found a penny from 1918. and some marbles. COOL!
-cut my hair. WHITE GIRL FRO!
-i got a job in produce at a health food store. i am stoked. playing with fruits and vegetables?! 20% discount?! all right!
-adventures on public transportation. last week i was riding the bus home from job hunting and this boy sat down across from me and started playing the ukulele. i love the city.
-spending time in the mission. i like the mission. bright colors, weird smells, crackheads, hipsters, skeezy dudes calling you "mami". it's like another country. the sunset is slightly dismal. everything has a gray tinge from the fog and there are too many old people. but we live right by the park!
today is my birthday. i am back in sonoma county. supposedly now i will morph into new and improved, mature, competent, responsible, employed, two decades of life caitlin. hm. or just go to the fireworks and drink brass monkeys. you know, whichever.
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[21 Jun 2006|11:47pm] |
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music |
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t.i. - what you know |
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i live in san francisco now, but i'm back in sebastopol to do laundry, use a printer, tie up loose ends and get a bed. all valid reasons, but being back feels sort of like admitting failure.
ha! i am taking the city by storm, but i need clean underwear and copies of my resume to do so properly. the sun is in cancer. my birthday is coming up. today was the first official day of summer. fuck yeah. what you know about that.
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[15 Jun 2006|01:35pm] |
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music |
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interpol - a time to be so small |
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popcorn weekends are over. as of friday i will be Unemployed, but hopefully not for long, and hopefully i can find a job that's a balance between mindless sugar-selling and emotionally demanding environment-saving.
i still have a bunch of loose ends to tie up. i spent yesterday at my dad's house, sorting through the remains of my childhood and throwing most of it out. i still have to switch banks, deposit last paychecks, pack, etc. i am so stressed. i don't feel like i had to do this much when i left for holland, but then again, i knew that i was coming back. i officially don't live in sebastopol anymore: my dad is turning my old room into a guest room. this is weird. i will be, more or less, a guest in the house where i grew up.. if i ever choose to sleep there again.
west county kegger tonight. probably my last for a while. grunge aaron is giving me a ride into seb after work and i'm going to caitlin it up a notch. hell yes!
also, i have been thinking recently about how horrible i am at keeping in touch with people and i would just like to say: I'M SORRY.
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| 6/6/06: HEED THE OMEN |
[05 Jun 2006|11:43am] |
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mood |
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 sleepy |
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music |
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eels - novocaine for the soul |
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today i was feeling crappy about this lame boy situation i got myself in, and then i ate some greasy chinese food and felt entirely better. plenty of people love me. i don't need boy drama.
this was a CRAZY weekend. friday night was work, and then ashley called me and i went to partake of top gun, video games and fruity mixed drinks at bryceandcoryandwanger's 70s timewarp house. complete with plaid wallpaper. saturday night the sheriff kicked us all out of a party at skylar's, and i crashed at ashley's house. it was a hilarious party: the usual seb crowd, plus a bunch of football boys that i went to high school with and figured i'd never see again. i found that a nalgene bottle holds about a 40's worth of beer. on sunday we went to the river in healdsburg. it was a beautiful day and the river up there is so scenic. swam, drank beer, smoked, did not get sunburned. hell yes! then i got coffee with ashley and we saw the al gore global warming movie. i'd like to go fishing with al gore.
so that's that. the next two weeks are working and getting ready to move.
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[24 May 2006|11:11pm] |
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music |
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devendra barnhart - pumpkin seeds |
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-monday ashley and i went to see art school confidential and scored a garbage bag full of popcorn. oh the perks of working at a movie theater. it sat on the seat between us. we barely made a dent in it but it was still pretty disgusting.. and awesome
-so last night, hanging out with sebastopol kids watching an old james bond movie. there was this heineken ad featuring a heineken bottle, flashing disco lights, and that dumbass pussycat dolls song- DON'T YOU WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS HOT LIKE ME? .. and that summed up the year 2005 for me. it was a terrifying havana flashback. and yet somehow heartwarming as well. I MISS MY HOLLAND PEOPLE!
-today was my only free day this week. it was great. i am totally done with school! so laura and i hung out all day and we went thrift shopping and bought forks and beer steins for the house, smoked and visited all the west county landmarks, went to the beach, ate hippie pizza, stopped by the whipples', went home. good times.
moving hella soon!!!
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| let's go to the river! |
[04 May 2006|02:47pm] |
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music |
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journey - don't stop believing |
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-drunk is the best way to do the apple blossom festival/parade. it was something like a small-town west county version of carnival, and the party that night was something like a weird premature high school reunion plus hella 16 year olds, which i could only have managed highly intoxicated and dressed up.
-work doesn't entirely suck. i figure if i get fired from scca, that's chill, i have another job.
-40s are my preferred method of alcohol consumption.
-triple a has saved my life more than once and will probably save it again the next time i lock my keys in my car (i was sober when i did it the last time... i am a moron)
-sort of have a date this weekend
-i've had this song stuck in my head for like THREE WEEKS now. jeez. cheesy 80s rock makes me want to go to the river so bad. i haven't been in forever long.
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| thank you ron thunderkill |
[22 Apr 2006|03:14pm] |
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music |
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bob dylan - girl from the north country |
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this week has been good. on thursday, 4/20, made $475 by the freak occurrence of canvassing the former executive director of sonoma county conservation action. which was great, i was starting to stress about getting fired for not making quota enough. then i smoked bowls with coworkers and hung out with a really cool boy. yesterday i took the day off, went to my dad's house and we took the dogs to ragle. i have so many memories there, from running cross country to nalgene bottles of vodka in the peace garden. then we made thai food.
i miss living in sebastopol. santa rosa doesn't entirely suck, it has its pockets of okay, but.. it just can't beat sebastopol. safeway on mendo isn't even open 24 hours, what the shit.
so now i will go to work and shovel popcorn for a few hours, and people will give me money willingly, and then maybe i'll go get drunk.
i have school again next week. ew. this break went by much too fast. but soon it will be summer, and i will be in the city.
oh, also, someone recently called me "a female player". heh.
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| i once had a life or rather, life had me |
[16 Apr 2006|10:39pm] |
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music |
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funkadelic - can you get to that |
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it was good to get out of the county this weekend. good to have a day of no work or school (SO GOOD!) and hang out at my dad's house (plus it was fatherfuckerfree), good to see laura and the rest of the sf kids again, good to meet new people, good to dance like a fool. in about two months the hobbit house is my home! SO EXCITED. this summer will be the shit.
so skylar is my best friend lately, as i see him more than my family and other friends combined because of work. on thursday the weather was beautiful and we went and read books in the cemetery. it was probably the closest thing to a date i've had in like nine months, and most certainly not a date, which is hilarious... also kind of sad..
working seven days this week. i'm back on the rolling tobacco budget and out of pot. and i have a research project to do.
i like it though. as weird and hectic and confused as my life is right now, i am really happy. it's probably because i'm so busy that i don't have time to think myself into a hole.
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[10 Apr 2006|08:03pm] |
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music |
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animal collective - the purple bottle |
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dealing with people all the time is starting to make me hate them. not any people in particular, but humanity in general. i am trying not to let it happen, and it's difficult.
this week has been weird. i got ridiculous drunk at skylar's house on thursday night and apparently said and did a bunch of scandalous shit and vaguely remember about half of what happened. hmm. oh and coworkers were there. slightly embarrassing. (am i too old for this? i don't think so, not yet.) it was really fun though.
friday night i canvassed in the rain and did pretty much the worst ever. i am always in such a strange mood when i get done with that job, whether i have a good night or not. but then i went to ben from scca's birthday party with a dj and bar that accepted credit cards (which i couldn't believe. i love paying for shit with my debit card. i almost never have cash on me.) briefly and ran into a bunch of people i didn't expect to, and met some new people, which was fun. then i came home, smoked and slept.
i am coming to terms with the fatherfucker. i've more or less accepted that she will be around when i go to my dad's house on weekends, and it's okay. it can get annoying though, like when i'm in sebastopol kinda faded and it's late and i don't want to drive to santa rosa and so i figure i'll sleep at my dad's but i get there and her car's there and there's a dim light coming from my dad's room... ew. that happened about a week ago and i ended up just driving home to santa rosa.
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[02 Apr 2006|03:11am] |
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mood |
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 high |
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music |
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tv on the radio - ambulance |
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i have driven between sebastopol and santa rosa so many times in the past month, i could probably do it in my sleep. 116 to 12 to 101 to steele lane to home.
today i worked for ten hours, but it was pretty chill. though i still have mixed feelings about canvassing.
i emailed aviva and my old host family about a week ago and she emailed me back! so good to hear from them. en nu spreek ik geen nederlands, en daarom ben ik een beetje verdrietig.
a string of weird coincidences lately leads me to believe that i'm in the right place, at the right time, doing the right things. it's a good feeling.
according to mymathlab.com, i have spent 78 hours, 57 minutes and 14 seconds working on my math homework online this semester. that's like what, three days? FUCK THAT. what a waste of three days of my life for a class that i will barely pass. at least when i'm done i will have gotten all possible math requirements out of the way and NEVER EVER have to take math again. fingers crossed.
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| dayquil owns me |
[27 Mar 2006|11:39pm] |
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mood |
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awake |
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music |
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the dears - heartless romantic |
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so for the past week i have pretty much been living on dayquil, nyquil, oranges, tea and export a's. i have no time to get better. it sucks. whatever. DAYQUIL IS GOD.
kendra is back on spring break and we watched a gay movie at the rialto. list of movies kendra and i have seen in theaters since december: brokeback mountain, movie with cillian murphy as a transvestite, gay german schoolboy movie. we are on a roll.
MY spring break isn't for hella long. dammit! though probably the only thing i will do on spring break is work at scca more and smoke a ridiculous amount of pot. at least i won't have to go to math. stupid spencer with his stupid math teacher mullet and his stupid trig. goddamn it.
i bought $75 shoes today with my first paycheck from scca. i feel so decadent.
i can't wait for summer. HOUSEWARMING BEERBECUE AT THE HOBBIT HOUSE!
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| leave it to the other girls to play |
[22 Mar 2006|08:57pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
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music |
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portishead - glory box |
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I just recently realized that I am pretty much surrounded by boys all the time. it is WEIRD. i work with a bunch of boys (there are some females at both places, but mostly not). the only new friends i have made at school are a bunch of boys. my close friends (in the county.. because all the girls are gone) are.. a bunch of boys. in holland kathrin and i were always complaining about how we had no male friends as it was more or less impossible to make male friends when the only real socializing we did was done drunk and skanky at bars. i guess you get what you wish for. apparently the sf crew is all girls... figures.
I HATE BEING SICK.
that's all.
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| caitlin: 2, the world: 0 |
[16 Mar 2006|10:57pm] |
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So I have two jobs now. I just made staff at SCCA by making quota five days in a row for my first five days. apparently that doesn't happen much. I win at life. I start at the rialto on saturday.
in the words of tech n9ne: "i love to get high and get PAID!"
now probably i should stop procrastinating and do my math homework. ew.
tomorrow is my free day. going to sf, wearing green, exploring my future neighborhood, getting drunk. apparently safeway is having a 40 cent 40s sale, i will see if that is true and if so, take advantage of it.
happpy st patrick's day!
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| she works hard for her money |
[08 Mar 2006|10:40am] |
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mood |
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 satisfied |
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music |
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mirah - words cannot describe |
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I LOVE having a job again. I feel like I have a purpose. and I made $20 over my quota in two hours, what now?! it is a very difficult job, I almost cried at one point, but it's so rewarding. Friday i have a job interview at the rialto, so maybe I will have two jobs and no life but lots of money.
school is starting to get irritating. hella fucking homework.
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[04 Mar 2006|03:37am] |
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mood |
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 exhausted |
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music |
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tea for the tillerman |
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i am looking forward to living in a cottage by the park in san francisco and growing sunflowers.
i enjoy having a job saving the environment. though i will have to work on my "hi, my name is caitlin, i'm with these people who are saving the environment, please give me money" speech. i am also applying at the rialto, and the jc, and apparently mombo's pizza.
i miss the haagse markt. i miss working with little kids.
i keep having weird scary dreams about someone who i used to know. in the last one they turned into a rattlesnake.
i like:
making new friends
cave tunnels and boardwalk views
acid and fire
dance parties
drawing
huge beds
living within walking distance of lots of things
the future
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[25 Feb 2006|02:05am] |
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mood |
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somewhat drunk |
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music |
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tech n9ne |
] |
i like my life a lot right now but... GODDAMN IT sometimes.
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